Die, Survive, or Thrive in the Coronavirus Pandemic?

I ask myself when in my life have I ever truly known with certainty that I would have health, employment, living relatives and friends, enough money, or any other form of security, including being alive, when the sun rises again. The answer is: never.

What I am grieving in the current situation is the huge loss and reduction in the illusions of safety and stability that we construct collectively and individually to make daily life existentially more manageable. I am consciously recognizing and grieving those losses. I am also considering that I have an opportunity now to consciously examine how I have or haven’t faced the uncertain nature of my own existence. That truth is not new, it is simply coming into unavoidable view for those of us who have grown dependent on the illusions of stability, predictability, and security to function.

I am exploring how I distinguish between optimism and oblivion; faith and denial; caution and paranoia, in the face of so many unknowns. It is a good time to practice the “Serenity Prayer”: having the courage to do the things I can do (for self care), and having the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and having the wisdom to know the difference.

I remind myself to devote as much time to acknowledging and processing my emotions with people I am close to, as to kicking into precautionary action. I try to notice whether I react or respond. I reflect to bring the values I am protecting through my behaviors into conscious view. I have the opportunity to distinguish between my authentic values and my ego-adaptive values. It is a good time to get back in touch with my personal essentials, while so much is being stripped away.

I ask myself if I can remember how often I secretly wished getting a break from the fast-turning treadmill of my life. That time has been forced upon most of us. What are those ways in which I thought I would spend my energy if/when I got that “break”? Am I doing it, or am I letting the few remaining collective distractions (worrying and compulsive data-consumption) consume my vitality instead?

Without minimizing or dismissing the gravity of the losses and the chaos of this pandemic, I remind myself that I have never lived in a world in which I have not been surrounded by loss and chaos on a massive scale at any time. It has always served me well to know how to thrive in a fundamentally ambivalent environment: one in which I must find my own dynamic balance between closing down to avoid harm and opening up to receive nourishment.

As a culture we are experiencing withdrawal symptoms from busy-ness, entertainment, distraction, externally-generated meaning & purpose, “growth & progress”, and the illusions of security that shielded me from facing the question: how do I find my own dynamic balance between closing down to avoid harm and opening up to receive nourishment.

Meanwhile our host planet is also receiving the unexpected gift of detoxification: she has been repairing and renewing her ecosystems while getting a bigger break from carbon trails across our skies, oceans and lands than we have ever found ourselves capable of affording her in our compulsively productive frenzy. Our descendants will surely enjoy unexpected gains from this gift.

In the dangerous, inconvenient, and very uncomfortable voids that have opened up, I have a chance to reflect on how I intend to shape my life and my world, both personally and collectively, when we are done lying fallow. If I choose reflection and intentional creativity over powerless anguish and anxiety, how much do I really want everything to pick back up where we left off?

As in every crisis, there is the possibility of revolution. Since this is a big crisis, the revolution can be correspondingly deep.

I ask myself, “Have you been wanting personal revolution? Have you dreamed of societal revolution? Have you had a vision of a healthier world? Your world? If so, you can choose to make this the moment for it. Dangerous, inconvenient, uncomfortable, but why not also exciting and life-giving?”

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